Monday, September 8, 2014

Why can't you see this!!!!????

     Last month Ricky spent another 9 days in the hospital for an infection in his intestines.  Rick and I were so busy between work and getting kids ready to go back to school, football, soccer, a new puppy, and all of that, that we had to leave Ricky in the hospital alone for most of the time.  It made me feel pretty bad to just ditch him up there for a whole day at a time somedays, but I made the efforts when I could to drive up and visit, even just for a couple of hours.  When sunday came around we got help from my parents and they took the kids so Rick and I could spend the day with Ricky.  We got ready early, got the kids up, and ready-ish, and got there in time for the church meeting in the hospital.  Unfortunately, he wasn't allowed to go with us.
     The meeting was packed.  Filled with families and parents that are going through hard times, but also packed full with the spirit.  Rick and I had our seats and were ready for things to start when a mom and her son came in and stood there searching for a seat.  We got up and stood in the back and motioned for the mom to sit where we had been.  Folding chairs were being brought in, so we didn't stand there very long.  I watch the mom and her little boy make their way to the seats.  The mom looked like she was really young still, in her 20s.  And the little boy looked to be about 7 or 8.  He was blind.  She held his hand and carefully led him along to their seats.  She whispered to him when there was an obstacle he needed to be aware of.  I was staring.  She gently touched him to direct him where he needed to be.  She sat down after she had helped him to reach his seat safely.  I kept staring.  Wondering what her life must be like.  Another late-comer showed up at the door, the young mom leaned over and whispered to her son.  He stood up and moved over to sit on her lap, to make room for the late-comer to join the meeting.  The late-comer found room somewhere else, and eventually the mom again whispered softly to her son, he stood up and carefully made his way to a chair of his own right next to his mother.  And still I stared/watched how she interacted with him.  Needless to say, I was captivated by it all.
     The more I thought about it, the more the spirit was able to teach me about parenting.  There are times when dealing with my kids that I am in complete disbelief about what choices they have made.  In some cases it is simply when cleaning things up.  The kids think it is done, and it is obvious to me that it isn't.  I can even hear myself saying, "Are you serious right now!?  You can't see that!?"  To which my kids give a blank stare, with their mouths partly open.  Which makes me even crazier!  Or when they make an obviously bad choice in how they treat others, or by not fulfilling their responsibilities at home, at school, or in their sports.  There I am, unfailingly there to say, "What the heck!?  Why can't you see what you are doing!? Why don't you see how your choice affects you and the people around you!?" There is never a reply to my insensitive, and somewhat rhetorical questioning. It bothers me that they don't have an answer, but what are they supposed to say?  I've left them no choice, no real answer to give.  I've pointed out their faults already, and if they try to justify it, I'll probably just point out some more.  When I think about it now, I don't blame them for not saying anything.
     In watching that mom during sacrament meeting, I learned a ton!  She didn't limit her son, or knock him for his lack of ability.  She patiently worked with him, explained, and whispered to him.  There weren't any loud corrections (we were in church, but still....).  I'm sure in life there are times where loud corrections are needed to keep a child safe, but for the most part they aren't necessary.  The boy amazed me also.  He was humble, and patient as well.  He didn't yell, "What's going on here!?" "I don't like it here because it's new/different!" or demand, "Tell me what's going on!"  He walked along, and was willingly guided by his mother.  He trusted her, and he listened for her words, and followed.
   I have more experience than my kids do.  Of course I see things differently than they do.  Of course I see some things more clearly, I know better what to look for.  How do I speak to them though?  Do they listen for my words and trust me?  Or do they fear my words?  Do I teach them and guide them with patience? Or react impatiently with frustration?
     This also taught me so much about my Heavenly Father and was an example to me of how he whispers softly and lovingly through the spirit, to guide us through hard or dangerous times.  The blind little boy would have struggled more than necessary to find an open seat to sit in.  But when he hearkened to the whisperings he was just fine.  He also whispers to us how we can help others when we might not see what their need is, or understand why any gesture we make might be helpful.  Like the mom that whispered to her son to make room for the late-comer.  He couldn't see that there weren't many chairs left, he didn't know to make room, but he followed his mother's promptings, and showed kindness without fully understanding why.
    I guess it comes down to the "Big Picture" and who sees more of it.  I might see more of it than my kids, so I can help them along.  And now after watching the young mom I want to change how I do it.  I'm sure she describes things, and explains things, and through that her son can "see" a little better and understand a little more about what is going on around him.  If I take the time to explain and describe, and discuss more, my kids will be able to understand and see a little more how I see it.  Now with my Heavenly Father it is again up to me.  He is trying.  But I am often stubborn and try my own way, because I can't see the end goal He has in mind. But if I try harder to listen to the whisperings and the feelings that gently push in a certain direction, I can learn to follow and trust Him more and more.
    I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father and how He is loving and patient with me.  There is greatness in each of us, and He understands that.  He wants us to achieve our greatness.  The experience with this young mom and her son got even more amazing when sacrament meeting was over.  We headed to go back up the stairs to Ricky's room.  I noticed the mom and her son by the piano, so we stopped and watched again.  He was amazing!  He was so talented!  We learned that he had recently been offered a full scholarship to the school for the musically gifted in the area.  It was awesome!!!
   Heavenly Father happily hides amazing things inside each of us.  It's just whether we listen to his whisperings that decides whether we will ever find the treasures or not.  He has the Big Picture.

2 comments:

  1. what a touching insight. Thanks Maren! I am grateful for the analogy

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  2. Thanks for sharing! What an uplifting story!

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