Giving my best to my People

Post from Rick:

   Maren has ALWAYS expected me to give my best efforts at home for her and the kids. And she's ALWAYS been right. It hasn't mattered what the life circumstances are, she has consistently and sometimes bluntly reminded me that as a husband and father, my first responsibility is to her and our 8 beautiful kids. That's a tall order for any person but it's such a basic concept that I can't believe I haven't always done my part. After 20 years of trying to learn this truth I'm much better at it now than I was early in our marriage. Although I was a bit off, basketball has taught me how to give my best efforts.

On the morning of April 14th, 2004, my team GHP Bamberg was sitting somewhere tied or close to 4th, 5th, or 6th place in the league. We only had two remaining games and we needed home-court advantage in the first round of the playoffs (4th place would get us that). I woke up and went to the computer to do my regular stat study of our opponent Telekom Bonn, who at the time was sitting on first place.

I went to the league website and there was an article about our game, which received media attention because it was an important game for playoff seedings. I couldn't believe what I read...There was a quote from Telekom Bonn President Wolfgang Wiedlich that said (to my recollection) something like, "No, we're not staying overnight in Bamberg. We're in 1st place and we're going to ride down to Bamberg, get us this win, maintain 1st place in the league and then we're going to have home-court advantage throughout the playoffs-and this time we're going to beat Berlin in the finals!!"

The hair literally stood up on the back of my neck and I felt an energy come over me that was unreal. My competitive pride kicked in and I said to myself, "It ain't goin' down like that tonight!" I spent extra time that morning covering the statistics and scoring tendencies of Jackson, Capin, and Kaukenas. After morning shoot around I came home, got something to eat, studied again and feel asleep watching highlights and game sequences of Kaukenas, and I woke up from my nap knowing how to get the best of him. He was a talented player and in my opinion, their most critical offensive player. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't capable of guarding him one on one for an entire game and that if he played a full game, we'd lose. The only was to get him out of the game was to get him in foul trouble. I noticed that he sometimes jumped for shot fakes, that he sometimes didn't really want to play defense, and that from the right wing, he ALWAYS caught the ball, faked right, then came back to the left with a cross step and left handed drive.

During the first quarter, on a baseline inbounds play, he got caught on a screen and I came off to shoot. I caught, lift faked, and he jumped...I leaned in, drew foul number 1, and earned two free throws. About a minute later, he was going to catch the ball on the right wing and I anticipated his catch, I pretended to go for his fake to the right, then I beat him to the spot back to the middle and drew a charge. I'm not sure it was a charge, but the refs called it and he had foul #2. He was upset and off his game. Later in the first half, I noticed he was not really guarding me. I decided that on my next catch I would drive to the basket, create contact, and do my best acting job to hang foul #3 on him. So I did. And the refs called it. He was ticked and wound up having to sit long portions of the first and second quarter. I just checked the stats of the game and in a double overtime game with 50:00 minutes of playing time available, he played just 24:19...because of fouls.

My mental, physical, and emotional preparation for that game were exceptional. It was absolutely my best efforts. I played 44: 29 and came up with 11 rebounds, all defensive. I have a picture in my office at the high school where I work that captures a moment right after I had just made a 3-point shot in the 2nd overtime to clinch the game. It's a favorite memory of my playing career.

  

Today it's clear that my best efforts belong at home. I love working alongside Maren and spending time with my kids-learning and teaching them about life and sports:) However, in 2004 I had my targets a bit off and found as many ways as possible to give my best to GHP Bamberg. In the process of giving my absolute best to Bamberg, the fans and people of Franconia became my people. Not my family, not my team family, but something very close. I literally dreamed of ways to be my best for our fans. I loved their desire for rough play. I loved their honest feedback-when I stunk they told me about it and when I played well, they rewarded me. To this day a big part of my heart is still there.

I love my Bamberg people and will ALWAYS feel like I'm coming home when I drive from Hirschaid, through Strullendorf, and on to the Berliner Ring. I will always feel like I gave my best, was at my best, when I played for those fans. Their acceptance of me, their support of me, and their will to see our team succeed was deeply rewarding and I felt their love.

Rick as the head coach of EnBW Ludwigsburg, when they played at Bamberg (his former team's arena) and won, the fans from Bamberg chanted his name and cheered for him after the game.  It was emotional for him to be back there.

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Friday of last week RWS 4 (Ricky) got word that his cancer had returned. Maren and I flew to Los Angeles then took a red-eye to Connecticut to be with Ricky. Along with fear and anger and disappointment, I was excited to see my son. Although not a pleasant situation to face, just being around Ricky was amazing. He had spent the past 7.5 months dedicated to serving, loving, and lifting the people and communities of CT and MA where he had lived. I noticed immediately how much he had grown in understanding, compassion, kindness, and genuine care for others. He talked about the people of Southington, CT and Oxford, MA who had shared their life with him and allowed him to walk a few miles in their shoes. He shared their victories and their defeats. His mind and heart were totally given to these people...Southington, Meriden, Berlin, and Oxford. 

It broke his heart to recently learn that one of his favorite mission people, someone totally different and from a different walk of life than he had ever seen, passed away suddenly. The man was young and strong and it hurt Ricky deeply to learn of his passing. Ricky truly loved those who gave him a chance to get to know them.

Elder Stafford, Elder Kendall, Brandon and Brendon

Listening to his stories was beautiful, spending time learning what he had been doing as a missionary for our church was rewarding, and being able to hug my son was simply the best. But the most unbelievable part of the whole experience has been my recognition of who Ricky's people really are. 

I have watched him walk the halls of two separate hospitals wearing a hospital gown and pushing an IV pole/tree with fluids and medications running into his body. I have seen him muster unreal patience, love, kindness, and grace when the pokes in his arms and hands don't seem to work. I've seen him stop and see-like really see a child in pain and anguish and make them smile. I have witnessed him remain optimistic with everyone around, although he's been aware that a fellow patient across the hall is in hospice care and the family members coming are paying their final respects. At the request of a fellow patient, I've seen him learn a new song to play on the Ukulele; this has lifted his own spirits but has also strengthened his connection with that patient. I've watched him treat nurses as teammates by reassuring them that although his veins were super good at rolling and difficult to stick, that he had faith in them and that he knew they were awesome and capable. I've seen the love in his eyes for the young girl who had likely received her diagnosis of cancer that day. I've seen his understanding of other's pain and anguish and the efforts he's made to smile, speak encouragement to fellow patients. 

And the love, kindness, patience, support that both fellow patients and health care professionals give back to Ricky is astounding!!!! They fill his bucket full every day as he connects!!!

In short, for as much as Ricky loves the people of CT and MA, his people...the people he REALLY, TRULY, SINCERELY understands, connects with, and receives strength from are the people of hospitals; especially those patients and health care professionals of pediatric oncology or child cancer. The amount of love, compassion, charity, and concern that Ricky has for his fellow travelers in the cancer ward is unreal and these are the people who get his best efforts. These are the people he loves the most. These are in fact his people.

The joy I've felt recognizing that Ricky truly is in his element amongst his people has been overwhelming. I have most times wished his path would have taken him back to Germany, back to "my people" of Bamberg and I've learned that this is wrong. Observing him in his element has corrected my vision. He is, although some may feel it's tragic, a duck on water. A pea in a pod. He is a square peg that has been placed in a square hole. His time at Memorial Sloan Kettering cancer hospital in Manhattan is not a waste. It's not tragic. He's making the most of it AND his people are strengthening him during his trying times as well.  

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For the time being Memorial Sloan Kettering is home son. Your privilege is now spending every day with mom and she is teaching/coaching you on the same lesson she teaches me...Your best efforts are needed at home. At some future point in your life, as a husband and father you'll need to focus your best efforts on your marriage and your children. But until that time...

Continue to rise up! Answer the bell every day. Your efforts bring me much joy!!

I am your greatest fan, except mom maybe...:)

Love you Ricky boy!

Dad

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