Leukemia Diary from a mom's side 3.4.14
Today was a reality day. I'm sure Ricky will be the sweetest man ever to his wife, in the case that she ever has morning sickness. Thats when things seem worst so far. Home care and Home School people came around. Neighbors and family took little kids, shopped for us and fed us. I am so thankful for the help and will be forever grateful for the people who have helped so much, and we are only a week into this awesome adventure.
Yesterday was a great day, everything was peaceful, Ricky and I had a great morning hanging out together, and made lots of goals. It was really nice, actually. But in the evening I was emotional when I went to bed, and fell asleep on a wet pillow and with a stuffed and runny nose. Probably not my best moment. But, while I prayed I really felt loved and supported from above, which made me bawl more. :)
Morning came with being a little sick myself and having to stay close to the bathroom. Rick had to work, so he tried to get Ricky going with his meds, but Ricky was sick as well and using the bathroom upstairs. So it wasn't working as well as the day before. Rick and I were both helping Ricky, and cleaning up after the morning's sickness. Both babies woke up, and the kids and Rick left for school. Ricky still hadn't had his meds, I was stuck on the potty, two babies were crying for attention, and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. I texted Angi next door for help, she started working on things for me but wasn't home to help right then, so I called Lynn Warner. But I couldn't talk, because when I heard her voice it just made me bawl. She asked if I needed help.... I struggled to get out a "ya", then she asked if she needed to come get the kids... again I struggled to get out a "ya". Then I hung up and got myself under control and tried to get cleaned up and go help Ricky. I put on my brave face, and my robe and left the bathroom to find Rick holding a baby on the bed. He had come back. I was so thankful! I just looked at him, said "you're here!?" started to cry and headed back into the bathroom.
Lynn came, Rick gave Ricky his morning meds, my mom came... I went upstairs to be with Ricky. He likes to just have someone there. So I laid down with my mask on, and just cuddled my boy. It was probably a pretty pitiful site. We napped for awhile, until the Home Care nurse came. Angi had found help with all of the kids, my mom was there helping in my home. So it was calm again. My mom went shopping for us, and Ricky and I sat down to watch "Other Side of Heaven" with some oatmeal.
When my mom got back, and a friend of Ricky's showed up, and then the help from school, I went back to bed. I guess Ricky did too, and we both have been zonked for awhile.
Tomorrow we take him back up to the clinic for another round of Chemo. It is already organized to have things taken care of around here. I keep expecting there to be a time when things can fall back into a routine, so I can plan things out. But it isn't working that way yet. It's kind of a day to day game.
I was given a blessing that I would be healthy and able to attend to Ricky when he needed me. So feeling yucky myself was not expected. But I was able to be with him for comfort when he needed it.
Rick is in a hard spot. He doesn't want to leave and go to work and deal with other peoples problems. He is emotional still as well, and sometimes calls to check on us, and we don't do much but cry at each other over the phone. Me being so emotional last night and this morning for sure didn't help him.
Today was just a yuck day. But at the same time, we had so much support, that it made a yuck day possible to bear. I want to share what is going on around here, because there are some really amazing things. But at the same time these are our pearls. So I am a bit conflicted. I guess I'm writing this to anyone who is reading this, know you are special to us, and that these things are our miracles and hardships. And I am only sharing them to show our gratitude, to possibly strengthen others, and because we feel so loved from here and from above.
Hoping for less of a yuck day tomorrow.
Yesterday was a great day, everything was peaceful, Ricky and I had a great morning hanging out together, and made lots of goals. It was really nice, actually. But in the evening I was emotional when I went to bed, and fell asleep on a wet pillow and with a stuffed and runny nose. Probably not my best moment. But, while I prayed I really felt loved and supported from above, which made me bawl more. :)
Morning came with being a little sick myself and having to stay close to the bathroom. Rick had to work, so he tried to get Ricky going with his meds, but Ricky was sick as well and using the bathroom upstairs. So it wasn't working as well as the day before. Rick and I were both helping Ricky, and cleaning up after the morning's sickness. Both babies woke up, and the kids and Rick left for school. Ricky still hadn't had his meds, I was stuck on the potty, two babies were crying for attention, and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. I texted Angi next door for help, she started working on things for me but wasn't home to help right then, so I called Lynn Warner. But I couldn't talk, because when I heard her voice it just made me bawl. She asked if I needed help.... I struggled to get out a "ya", then she asked if she needed to come get the kids... again I struggled to get out a "ya". Then I hung up and got myself under control and tried to get cleaned up and go help Ricky. I put on my brave face, and my robe and left the bathroom to find Rick holding a baby on the bed. He had come back. I was so thankful! I just looked at him, said "you're here!?" started to cry and headed back into the bathroom.
Lynn came, Rick gave Ricky his morning meds, my mom came... I went upstairs to be with Ricky. He likes to just have someone there. So I laid down with my mask on, and just cuddled my boy. It was probably a pretty pitiful site. We napped for awhile, until the Home Care nurse came. Angi had found help with all of the kids, my mom was there helping in my home. So it was calm again. My mom went shopping for us, and Ricky and I sat down to watch "Other Side of Heaven" with some oatmeal.
When my mom got back, and a friend of Ricky's showed up, and then the help from school, I went back to bed. I guess Ricky did too, and we both have been zonked for awhile.
Tomorrow we take him back up to the clinic for another round of Chemo. It is already organized to have things taken care of around here. I keep expecting there to be a time when things can fall back into a routine, so I can plan things out. But it isn't working that way yet. It's kind of a day to day game.
I was given a blessing that I would be healthy and able to attend to Ricky when he needed me. So feeling yucky myself was not expected. But I was able to be with him for comfort when he needed it.
Rick is in a hard spot. He doesn't want to leave and go to work and deal with other peoples problems. He is emotional still as well, and sometimes calls to check on us, and we don't do much but cry at each other over the phone. Me being so emotional last night and this morning for sure didn't help him.
Today was just a yuck day. But at the same time, we had so much support, that it made a yuck day possible to bear. I want to share what is going on around here, because there are some really amazing things. But at the same time these are our pearls. So I am a bit conflicted. I guess I'm writing this to anyone who is reading this, know you are special to us, and that these things are our miracles and hardships. And I am only sharing them to show our gratitude, to possibly strengthen others, and because we feel so loved from here and from above.
Hoping for less of a yuck day tomorrow.
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