Monday, March 10, 2014

What's in a name?

Let me tell you about my boy Ricky.  I could tell you about all my awesome kids, but that would surely be a novel....so we are gonna start with this guy, because he seems to be the one occupying a lot of our time and thoughts right now.
   When we went to find out whether we were expecting a boy or a girl, Rick (dad) was pretty nervous.  When we found out it was a boy, he was so excited that he cried!  I didn't even have to worry about a name.  It had been decided long long ago!  Richard Wayne Stafford IV   The 3 men who have carried this name before him are very impressive and wonderful men.  He has big shoes to fill, or at least a big name :).
   Ricky was born in Germany.  Rick was playing for a 2nd division team in Langen, the fans were so excited!  He was also the only baby from our little town born that week, so he was in the news paper as the Baby of the Week!  He was big.  9 lbs 5 oz.  The nurses called him Schmusel Bub ("Shmoozel boob"), which I didn't understand at the time what that meant and wondered why they would call him a "boob" :)  I found out it meant "Cuddly Boy",  because he was so big and sweet and just loved to cuddle with any of the nurses.  My roommate (because in Germany you get to share rooms) was complaining to her mom, something to the effect of, "Her baby just sleeps and eats and doesn't cry. My baby cries.  And then the newspaper came in and took a picture of her and her baby... why is her baby so special?"  I remember laughing to myself about it.  I think she thought I didn't understand any german, which was almost true.  But as if I wasn't already beaming with pride about my boy, that just made me even more so proud.
    His dad started putting a basketball in his hand as soon as he was home.  Saying, "Look at those thumbs!!!"  "wow, he is gonna be amazing!, look at the size of his hands!"  Needless to say, he was pretty excited about him.  I would take him with me to watch practices and he would sit on the floor with me, and I would help him dribble a ball that was bigger than he was.  He was quite the little mascot for the team.  It was really fun.  He even had a little pair of Jordan's, I don't know that Rick ever had a pair of shoes that nice. :)
   When he was one, Rick already had him catching and diving off the desk while catching the balls Rick would throw to him, and land on his face on the pillows.  He spent the day hanging out with me while we tried to find new adventures, tearing apart the kitchen, and playing with his basketball hoop.  He would go to all of the games with us, and actually watched them, with the occasional disappearing  act around the corner.
   When he was 2-3 we lived in Giessen and again he was at every game.  He knew the fans, and loved being allowed to play on the court after the games.  He was always very trusting and friendly and happy.  I got in trouble with the other basketball players' wives because I let him run around at the games and go sit in the fan section where they beat the drums.  Their kids didn't understand why Ricky was allowed to go play and they had to sit still.  Once after a game he had happily followed his new friends out the door, and Rick had to help me find him.  That didn't help my reputation with the other wives much either.  But he was a happy, friendly little kid, so I guess I thought I was doing stuff right.
    He used to sing to himself before he could really talk, and he was pretty good at it.   He had some little dinosaurs that he was playing with once and it looked like he was making them fight.  I asked him, "Are they fighting?"  He replied, "No, die schmusen!"  ('Nope. they are cuddling').  He always had a really sweet side to him.  He loved his little sister when she came along, and would hold her and hug her any chance he got.

   He has always been sweet and kind hearted, but that sometimes goes hand in hand with not being the "bravest".  So he gets teased a little from our family and relatives, because we tend to think it is funny to scare people.  Once when I was hugely pregnant with the twins, I had packed the two kids up in the car, and was ready to go to Rick's game, when I realized I had forgotten the keys inside.  The house was locked and we couldn't go any where, and it was raining.  The only way to possibly get in was a little basement window to our storage room.  There was no way I would fit, so Ricky was the go to guy!  There were some spider webs and kind of scary looking things down by that window.  And try as I may have to speak sweetly to him, he was not having it.  It finally got to the point that was past bribery, threats, promises, and begging.... I grabbed him and stuck him down in the window well and part way through the window.  He was so surprised that he could only get out a, "Wait, no, no.." and he was pretty much through.  Then I remember hearing a relieved little nervous giggle.  He went and opened the door, and let us in.  He was pretty proud of himself then.  So sometimes he has needed a little "prodding" to do things that are scary.
    When we moved to Hirschaid he had a little bike with training wheels.  He was probably about 5 when we decided to try to take off the training wheels.  I asked Rick to help and he got one off before he had to go to practice.  Then he said "He'll be fine, he can just use it as a brace if he starts to fall to the right"  I was totally against it, because I thought it would throw off his balance.  But, I let him practice for a while anyway, and of course he rode in circles in our driveway.  Around, and around and around, with his bum hanging off the right side to lean completely on that one training wheel.  So I took him down the street so he could practice going straight.  He still sat leaning on that one wheel.  It was very frustrating.  I asked a  woman we passed if she possibly had the tools to remove the other one in her garage, and she helped us out.  Now understand in Germany its almost like little kids ride bikes before they walk, so being 5 was pretty old and he seemed like such big kid to me.  So I ran holding him up and he kept sneaking his rear off to the right!  I was about to scream!  Little 2 year olds and their parents were passing us up.  Literally!  Little tiny kids were riding past him, and waving at him.  The competitive side of me was going bonkers.  I don't remember an exact quote, but I'm pretty sure I said, "If you don't knock it off! And just ride it straight, so you won't crash I am going to take your bike and CHUCK IT OVER THE FENCE!!!"  I don't know if that was a shining moment I should share, but unfortunately its true.
     Ricky also always seems to want to play with the big kids.  And now that he could kind of ride a bike, a whole new world of adventure was opened up.  But he didn't know how to use the brakes yet.  We had a steep little hill from our back porch down to the yard and the Big Kids would ride down it and be able to turn before the fence.  It was a small yard, with a little chain linked fence at the back of it.  Ricky asked if he could ride down too like the big kids do.  I said sure and be careful, and threw a helmet on his head and got ready to pack the other kids up for the doctor incase it didn't end up well for him.  He watched a couple of more big kids go, then off he went.  Down the steep little hill, and speeding across the yard, and straight into the fence!  His bike hit the fence and flung him up and hung him up over the top of it.  I watched and waited for the cry.  He hung there for a second while the fence rocked back and forth, then turned around excited that he had made it out unscathed.
   I remember telling that story in sacrament meeting and relating it to Heavenly Father having to sit back and let us live our lives.  He puts a helmet on our head, and says "there you go, be careful." And we are off! Speeding through this adventure wishing we had learned how to use the brakes better first, and hoping the hard things we might get hung up on in life won't hurt too badly.  Thats how I feel about the situation we are in now.  Ricky wanted to play with the big kids... he wanted to be as great as the greatest people to ever walk the earth... he chose a really steep hill so he could get there fast and at the moment we are hung up on a fence that is still rocking back and forth from impact.  The panic feeling is still what is present now, but we are hoping that we can climb down off of this fence as soon as possible and assess our injuries (or hopefully lack there of).  The whole time Heavenly Father is watching, and trying to coach us, saying, "Brake!! Watch out for that fence post!" And he is ready to help us with any injury, or even come pull us off the fence if we need it.  He loves us enough to give us the opportunity to learn, and grow, and have an amazing adventure.  I am so thankful for the opportunity we have to be here, to have adventures, to have hard times and moments of panic.  That's how we learn, and how we grow to become all that we can become.  It's wonderful, and admittedly scary at times.
    Ricky went to his 1st 4 years of school in Germany.  Neither of us parents knew anything about the school system or how it worked, so it was hard to help him with his homework even at a really young age.  He has been a pretty responsible and independent kid for awhile.  He rode his bike to violin lessons and soccer practice, and was expected to help out around the house more than any of the other kids around.  I didn't blame him even then for wanting to just hang out at other people's homes, it was a lot easier.
   So Ricky got to be around his dad's basketball team, which was extra cool!  And he was a great little soccer player, and basketball player for his age.  He got to travel to Austria with a team one time for a tournament.  He got to go with his dad on player scouting trips when Rick was a coach.  Got to travel internationally with us visiting family and going to vacations.  Kind of a cool life.




   He speaks german, and would be the first one in the family to figure out a new dialect when we moved.  He can play the violin, and has always had a knack for figuring out new songs.  He used to draw dream homes with me, and still says some day he wants to be an architect.  But at 15, sports obviously has quite the pull.  It always has with him though... even more than my other kids.   I get to brag here, cuz it's my blog, and my kid, so.....you can stop reading anytime you like. :)
   He is a 6' 1 1/2" 9th grade boy that has a lot of growing left to do.  Literally, and figuratively.  He is a great little basketball player (which I know most mom's think of their kids, but I like to think I am not delusional).  He is a great player, and has two parents sitting there going bonkers because we think he is greater than he thinks he is, and we want him to reach his potential.  So after a long blog, and still so much being left out, that is where we are.  A wonderful young man, who was just about to tap into his greatness.  Ricky has done his name proud.
   I believe he is in the processes now of becoming even greater than Rick or I had in store for him.  And he is bringing us along for the ride, cuz its a long one, and he likes company.  I can't sum my boy up in one post, or even do him justice if I wrote a whole book.  He is such a blessing in my life.  I want great things for him.  Heavenly Father wants even greater things from him.  Right now though, I am content if he is not hurting, and just sitting by me wanting to hold my hand.  It does my heart good. I had been praying, long before this, that I might have a strong relationship with him, that it would be more than him thinking back on me nagging at him all the time, or even wrestling him down and pinning him on the kitchen floor.  I am thankful for this time with him.  I want to share what I can about our family and adventures, without crossing that line where something tender I have shared results in embarrassment.  It's a thin line.   I guess I could just leave it at this....I love my Ricky-boy.

4 comments:

  1. I've always admired your relationship with Ricky. You are very good at telling stories and sharing information and the lessons you have learned. Thank you for sharing who you are!

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  2. Precious and so touching....he's a lucky boy to have you for his Mom!!!

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  3. What an amazing kid, and amazing mom. The history with basketball helps put into perspective the sacrifice that is being required of Ricky to miss playing his high school years. And since we know that 'sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven', there must be MANY blessings coming! I love bike crash metaphor. I am grateful for the Atonement that heals us from crashes, and allows us to take the ride bravely. Love you Maren.

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  4. Maren, what a wonderful story. Ricky is so amazing and you and your family are so wonderful. I am amazed at the things you are able to accomplish with so much going on in your life. You are the most amazing mom ever. I love reading your posts. My Faith increases every time I read one. I know heavenly father will bless you and your family and all your needs will be met. Love you guys so much.

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